Four Squares of Chocolate

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS // The contents of my brain in a typical 5 minute span // How to balance writing, family, housework and girl stuff all at the same time...

"I'm gonna put this load of laundry in the wash then sit down and finish chapter two. I WILL finish chapter two today. I must. My characters deserve it. Oh my gosh. They're fictional. They don't deserve anything. I HATE THEM. How dare they put demands on me! I'm going to eat two squares of chocolate. I've earned it. Fine. THREE SQUARES OF CHOCOLATE BUT NO MORE. Wait, didn't I "ban" chocolate in our house weeks ago? HOW DID THIS GET HERE? No one listens to me! Oh, I remember now. It's from our anniversary. That's sweet. Oh my gah. Why is this shirt stained - he wore it for three seconds? What is that? Poop? Of course I just touched poop. But it's baby poop. Totally different. Oh. No, it's the chocolate I'm eating! Am I insane? Yes, that's why I write. It's fine. My sister says everyone is insane. Ohhhh, maybe my main character can have a sibling they don't know about -- WHO IS INSANE. See? I'm not insane. I'm Brilliant. ONE MORE SQUARE OF CHOCOLATE BUT THEN STOP IT. That's why you haven't lost any weight, Sadler. Unless I'm pregnant? No no no no no. But it totally makes sense though. I've been so emotional lately. Jim is such a great daddy. I should give him more children. Ugh. But the throwing up. Nasty. I can't. I WON'T do it again. Maybe my character gets pregnant! Yes, that's it. She's pregnant and finds a sibling she doesn't know about and he/she is INSANE and so so so emotional. Does anyone want to read that book? No. No one wants to read that book. Hmmmm. I set this load to large, but it's kind of small... Now there's too much water. Is that possible? Too much water? I swore we had more dirty clothes than this. Unless I'm wearing dirty clothes. How does this keep happening? Shit. This means I wore the same Lululemon outfit BOTH TIMES I saw our neighbor this week. Should I wash the white towels with the multicolors? What the hell... I'm going to start using fabric softener. Oh gag. Spring mountain - NOT. "Spring Mountain." That sounds like a Harlequin book title. Should I try to write a Harlequin book? COULD I write a Harlequin book? What would I tell people I do for a living? I would NOT say Harlequin novelist. Hahahaha. I wonder if Jim will mind that we eat fish again tonight... will he remember we had it two days ago? Did we even have it two days ago. No! We had pizza! We haven't had fish in weeks. I'm not going to ever eat shrimp again. "Cockroaches of the Sea." Disgusting. Oh, pizza sounds kinda' good now though. Yes! We will have pizza tonight. But I'll make homemake crust or something so that it's gourmet and like I didn't just think of it last minute. He'll be so impressed with me. He'll love me even more than he does now. Maybe my characters fall back in love? YEAH, RIGHT. AFTER CHAPTER ONE? But it happens in real life... I shouldn't do a word count, it's bad to constantly do work counts, but I have to. HOW HAVE I ONLY WRITTEN 147 words? Nap time is almost over and Corbin needs a walk. I think we're out of poop bags. Did I brush my teeth this morning? I did. That's right because I accidentally used Jim's toothbrush. Gag. ... Wait, why is that gag? We kiss all the time. We had a child together... so not gag. Romantic. Maybe we can put the baby down early tonight and just talk about stuff and drink wine. No, the Bachelorette is on. KAITLYN IS A TRAIN WRECK. I'll order in pizza. ... And I'll finish chapter two after the baby gets a bath."